film fan finding:cloverfield

January 21, 2008 at 8:41 pm | In Reviews, Movies, *Cloverfield | No Comments

If a large, seemingly-unstoppable monster of unknown origin suddenly attacks New York City and no one in our cell-phone-addicted, self-obsessed, it-hasn’t-happened-until-I’ve-blogged-about-it society records their last panicked moments with their camcorder, did the end of the world really happen?

If a movie needs a viral marketing campaign, scores of devotees providing explanations on message boards, and a “secret clue” revealed by playing the brief audio clip (from the end of the credits) in reverse in order to shore up the non-existent backstory and fill in the holes of the plot, is that movie worth a trip to the local cineplex?

Does Cloverfield’s unusual and somewhat intriguing first-person point of view make it any easier to sit through 80 stomach-churning, headache-inducing minutes of violently shaky, unsteady camera work?

Does suspending one’s disbelief enough to watch a monster/disaster movie in the first place make it any easier to overlook weak characters, lapses in continuity, hastily-conceived plot points and an unsatisfying ending?

If I hate a movie so completely that I was actively rooting for all the characters to die so that I could get the hell out of the theater, do I have to waste my time struggling to write a proper review that’s not sarcastic and grumpy?

No, no, no, no and hell, no.

Film Fan Finding: C-