Tampa Film Fan

good manners and basic intelligence are important online, just like in the real world

The people who really need to read this never will, I’m sure, because they probably only visited this site long enough to find my email address. But I need to vent or I will explode — and hey, my blog, my rules — so here goes:

1. When you, filmmaker or aspiring filmmaker, email me for my suggestions and help regarding filmmaking contacts in the Tampa Bay area;

and when I email you back to tell you I’m sick and recovering from surgery and it will be a few more days before I reply;

and then when I do reply — still sick, mind you — several days later with a long, detailed email giving you all sorts of useful info, including FIFTEEN (15) DIFFERENT WEBSITE ADDRESSES AND FOUR (4) DIFFERENT CONTACT NAMES AND EMAIL ADDRESSES;

for you NOT to acknowledge my email and/or to NOT say thank you is RUDE. C’mon, hit “reply” and type “thank you” and then click “send.” That’s all I’m asking for. And I’m pretty sure you got my email because I know you contacted one of the people whose contact info I gave you.

I never before thought this sort of thing mattered to me, but apparently it does, because you, Certain Filmmaker (and I use that term loosely) Who Shall Remain Nameless (consider yourself lucky on that one), have annoyed me. You’re an ungrateful ass and I hope your film tanks.

Moving on….

2. If you read a casting call notice posted here, read the whole thing before firing off an email to me. I understand that you’re excited about possibly being in a film, and I understand that people sometimes make mistakes, but if you take a deep breath and read the entire post, you’ll see that the contact info for the filmmaker and/or film studio is listed in the post. If you email me asking to be in my film and telling me how great my film sounds and how you’ll be perfect for the part, I can’t help you. Not my film. Not my casting call. Not my film studio. Not my casting call. I’m just the conduit for this information, which is why my post will say something like “email joe.filmmaker(at)greatfilm.com for more info.” You’ll have to read the script if you get the part, so practicing your reading here will come in handy.

And finally…

3. If you send me your casting call info and you include your email address, great. If that email address is actually checked by a living person instead of either a trained monkey or an automated email reply system, even better.

That way, when I reply to Overexcited Wannabe Actor from example #2 to tell him/her to email you instead because I’m not having a casting call because I’m not making a film;

and when I then forward you the email I sent to Overexcited Wannabe Actor as a courtesy to you, so you’ll know of his/her interest,

you WON’T email me asking for my bio/details so I can be considered for the casting call.

And, if on the odd chance that you send me that email anyway, when I write you back explaining all of the above, you won’t then SEND ME ANOTHER EMAIL ASKING FOR MY BIO/DETAILS SO I CAN BE CONSIDERED FOR THE CASTING CALL.

If you do send me that nonsensical email twice, I hope your email address is set up with some sort of automated email reply that goes to everyone, because if it’s a trained monkey, you’ve overpaid. And if it’s a real person replying to those emails, then…I’m speechless, give me a minute please…then…I hope that person isn’t also in charge of your film’s budget.

Exhale….ok, I feel better now. Although I think I’m still gonna have to dive into a bowlful of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream to make today disappear and get my heart rate to slow down. I expect I’ll be back to normal tomorrow. Or not. Whatever.

today’s catty comment is about cary elwes

This falls under the category of “people living in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” or some such proverb, because heaven knows I’m in no position to talk about how others’ looks have changed over the years.

But I can’t help myself.

Here I was, minding my own business, working on my blogs and watching a Law and Order:SVU marathon on USA. And then all of a sudden, BAM! I saw something I wish I hadn’t seen. The dreamy Cary Elwes who starred in The Princess Bride…

…is now the jowly Cary Elwes making a brief appearance on Law and Order:SVU.

Sigh. Getting old sucks, no?