Tampa Film Fan

film fan finding:poseidon

Whether or not you like a film remake depends on your familiarity with the original. I’m old enough to be familiar with the original The Poseidon Adventure (I even own the DVD), so all the modern special effects in the world couldn’t redeem the Poseidon remake in my eyes.

Poseidon follows the same basic plot as the original: a luxury ship is overturned by a large wave while most of the passengers are ringing in the new year in the ballroom, which makes for a dramatic disaster scene of people being tossed about and dying in all sorts of not-very-fun ways. A handful of people ignore the captain’s orders to stay put and start climbing up to the bottom of the ship (the ship’s upside down, remember).

In this version, however, most of the survivors have annoying personality traits that don’t endear them to the viewer. Hmmm…sit tight in the ballroom and die sooner, or go with these annoying, selfish people and probably die anyway, just a little later? I think I’ll stay in the ballroom, thank you very much.

All the thrilling, scary, death-and-destruction scenes couldn’t save Poseidon from being predictable and unbelievable. There were a couple of characters who might as well have been wearing signs that said “I’m Going To Die In The Next Five Minutes.” It was nice to see Kurt Russell back in action, although his character was one of the most annoying. Tied for that most-annoying-character slot was the womanizing yet caring, ex-Navy gambler action-hero type played by Josh Lucas. If I’m ever in a life-or-death situation, I sure hope there’s a complete stranger around who knows everything about flash fires, pressurized ballasts, access hatches and cruise ships who can hold his breath underwater for long periods of time. (Although his knowledge of first aid seemed to be sorely lacking.)

Poseidon is Titanic minus the engaging characters and compelling love story — the affluent and the working class living on different decks of the same great ship who all become equals when the ship tosses them around before sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Unlike Titanic, however, Poseidon alone will sink to the bottom of the discount DVD sales bin in a few months (where it will join the recent Poseidon TV movie).

Film Fan Finding: C